Archive | September, 2013

Great Tips for Increasing Unproductivity

19 Sep

For the past month or so I was working with my awesome team on releasing a new product – Slik.IO (go try it. Now! Seriously!). It was a stressful month. A month I tried to get my productivity to the max. Most of the time it went pretty well. But some days, I just couldn’t get shit done.

And then you come across yet another post about how to increase your productivity. Everyone is so damn productive and only you feel like your body weighs 50 tons, your mind can’t even solve 1+1 and all you want to do is sleep. Are these people really that productive? I doubt it. They just seem like robots but I’m telling you a secret now. Hold on tight. They too have days that they just can’t get shit done.

This post is for the human beings amongst us, that occasionally feel like even the simplest task seems like climbing the Everest. So when you’re felling like that, I say take this feeling to the max and let go completely. Here are a few tips that will help you increase your unproductivity:

  1. When you feel that unproductivity arrives, fight it not my friend. On such days, unleash your worthless self and just be unproductive. The same tasks will be there tomorrow. With a fresher you to solve them.
  2.  Don’t use time tracking tools. The one I don’t use is Harvest.
  3. Multi task. Do as many tasks as you can. Simultaneously.
  4. Don’t focus on important tasks in the morning.
  5. Don’t focus at all. Think about the future, the past, your kids, your wife, your last vacation.
  6. Turn on notifications from all your electronic devices so they could comfortably distract you.
  7. Allow meetings to take forever. Convince everyone that Titanic encapsulates some meaningful insights about the business and that you must watch it all together, right now. On a second thought, convincing everyone to watch Titanic might result in everyone committing suicide. On a third thought, it might be a good exercise to test who’s the weak link in your team. Fire all the team members that didn’t commit suicide. You don’t want to work with people that like this movie.
  8. Do more meetings.
  9. Get up late.
  10. Drink alcohol. A lot.
  11. If not alcohol, don’t be tempted to drink water. Drink anything that can get you dehydrated. Or don’t drink at all. It’s a known fact that when you’re dehydrated you do less.
  12. Don’t exercise. They  say it makes you happier and more productive.
  13. Watch a lot of TV. Especially reality shows. It will get you addicted and ensure a long, unproductive period of time.
  14. Don’t organize anything. Allow mess.
  15.  Don’t stop hesitating.

And now, if you want to be productive read the following great posts about productivity. Believe me, they help a lot.

And some tips to make you happier (which eventually improve your productivity).

What about you? Any un/productivity tips I missed? Leave a comment and let’s discuss.